Today I had jury duty and completely forgot all about it. COMPLETELY. I have been looking at the slip of paper for over a week, which is sitting on my computer desk as a reminder to NOT FORGET to call and let them know that I’m not coming, they can’t make me, so THERE. Though I must admit, I feel the need to confess. A little part of me was actually kind of intrigued by it all. They want me? ME? I must be special or something. Maybe it would be a big interesting murder trial or something. While I realize that it’s not very nice to fantasize about a person being murdered and the need of a murder trial to inject a bit of interest into my boring life, I can’t say that I didn’t have a moment or two where I actually considered doing everything within my power to ditch the kidlets with an unsuspecting relative in order to fulfill my civic duty. (Award for best run-on sentence ever goes to… (wait for it)… ME!)

I was reminded that I had somewhere to be as I talked on the phone with a friend of mine, and she said something about a county clerk (some sort of clerk, I don’t know) in a book she’s reading. Clerk? Jury DUTY! Expletive, expletive! Then I got off of the phone and called the court, where I sat on hold for no less than twenty minutes before my phone abruptly hung up. Needs charging, read the caller-id. Niiiice. I’m going to go TO JAIL to be beaten with sticks because you are a needy shithead who needs to be charged CONSTANTLY, lest you just give up and die. Hate, hate, red-hot HATE you, cheap stupid VTech phone.

So I haven’t talked to anyone from the court yet, and I honestly don’t know what to do. Call and beg? Be honest and tell them that I read the paper extensively doing the one-eyed mom speed-read? Feed them my excuses? Plead for a break because MY KIDS, they make me insane and my HUSBAND, he worked every day last week except Sunday and it’s his fault I don’t know what day it is and my PHONE, wouldn’t let me call if I even really, really wanted to? Blech. Blah. Wretch. Help?