As my due date draws closer and closer, I get more and more determined to clean everything we have ever owned, organize it, and then sit down and bemoan the fact that I had to DO something, my GAWD. I am pregnant and should be laying down with a layer cake right now. Today I decided I should get out all the Big Stuff and make it shiny and clean. BIG MISTAKE. Not only do I have a newfound loathing for my husband, but I also had to vanquish an unusually large, unusually hardy spider that had taken up residence in the baby swing. I tried spraying it with bathroom cleaner, because I know I would die if I was in a pool of bleach and other various stinky chemicals. It curled up and felt sorry for itself for a minute, then marched out of the cleanser puddle as if nothing had happened. So I plucked up some courage and let Mr. Spider meet the underside of Mr. Shoe. Then threw the shoe onto the back porch for good measure. Can you tell I have a slight spider phobia?

I collected the baby gear from the garage and dragged it into the house, toddler in tow. Curious about everything, and she probably didn’t understand why I kept telling her NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING, ew DIRTY. The only thing I couldn’t find was the infant car seat. Which? GREAT. I sort of (really) need that. I found it mocking me from the recesses of the over-stuffed under-the-stairs closet. Superb.

I also decided that I needed my maternity clothes out of the under-the-stairs closet, because dammit, I am 32 weeks pregnant and have been surviving with a remarkably small wardrobe thus far due to lack of husbandly willingness to unearth my maternity clothes. So I dug everything out of that closet, my maternity clothes are now in the washer, and the infant seat is ready for scouring. My dining room is also a horrible, terrible mess now, and my back hurts like a mother. Oh, the joys of pregnancy.

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