Yes, that’s probably me. Worst pregnant person to ever live. I’m basing this on the fact that instead of cradling my belly and reading it Shakespeare and sitting around glowing with joy and whatnot, I’m annoyed. I will be overjoyed once this little girl is out and born and here and adorable. Right now though, she is kicking, stretching, poking, and generally and making my existence difficult. Sometimes I just want to SLEEP, but then I can’t, because Miss Fetus is kicking and asking for juice. Or my legs won’t accept that it is BEDTIME, and I feel the insane need to kick my legs wildly or I will definitely explode into a firey, gooey mess (and that would just be inconvenient). Or maybe it’s the Heartburn, the Heartburn that laughs in the face of Tums and Rolaids and can be caused by anything from apple juice to chocolate (and really, how cruel is that?) to pasta sauces. When I was pregnant the first time, everything was cute and magical and I cried all over the place because, like, oh my GAWD, my adorable little baby just kicked the crap out of me! This time? Can I just have the baby? Please? Pretty please with sprinkles?

Of course, there is also the fact that we have a toddler this time around. Last time, I laid in bed and ate cookies and slept as much as I wanted to. Not so much this time with Alaina running around, who of course doesn’t have any real clue what is going on and doesn’t understand why I don’t want to chase her around the front yard as much these days. When I ask her, “Where’s baby?”, she does point to my burgeoning belly and respond with an emphatic, “TUMMY!” Buuuut that’s about as far as it has gone. I’ve tried to tell her many, many times that a new baby will be coming to live with us soon, and when we see new babies at the store I point them out to her. It’s probably really just too much for her not-quite-two year old brain to understand at this point. Regardless of my (somewhat lackluster, I will admit) New Baby Invasion Education Program (which we can just call NBIEP to keep things simple), she is probably going to be really surprised when mommy and daddy go away for a few days, then come home with a real, live, screaming, attention-stealing newborn.

Andrew’s talking about only taking a couple days off when the new baby is born. A COUPLE. As in, I’m out of the hospital, he stays home for maybe a day after, and then BOOM. I’m a single mother of two. I’m a little panicked. What if I have to have a c-section this time around? Granted, everything went really well with Alaina, there is no reason to think there will be any problems this go-around… but then again, every pregnancy is different, every baby has a different sized head, etc. I can’t imagine being in early recovery from a c-section and my husband has up and left me to go back to WORK, the selfish dog. His mom works full time now, so she couldn’t come help out, and he doesn’t want my mom staying with us because he thinks it may actually kill him this time around. Realistically though… someone has to be here to keep me sane. Alaina by herself, after a vaginal birth with no complications, was easy to adjust to and I didn’t really need much help. But with two? TWO?! And all the what-ifs? Guh.